over the 19 years that i have been a school teacher, lots of students have come in and out of my life and made impressions. of course, you don't remember them all, but some you do just because they are special. one of those was a 19-year old girl named kathy grabinsky whom i taught my first year of grad school at v.c.u.
why i remember her now is because today i discovered that she was one of the 7 victims in a grisly crime spree here in richmond. kathy, her husband bryan, and their 2 daughters, stella and ruby, were brutally murdered on new year's day in their home. they were bound, beaten and their throats were cut. the killers tried to set the house on fire to cover up their crime. they have been caught, but not before they killed 3 more people and possibly more in a crime spree that went on over several weeks and in several states. the motive seems to be robbery.
kathy was stunningly beautiful, naive, and a gifted writer. what charisma! she was happy-go-lucky, fun, positive! i remember thinking that i wished i could have been like her when i was 19! she got mono one of the two semesters i taught her english, and i went over to her apartment to help her with stuff. once she came to my house for dinner, and we became friends outside of the classroom for awhile. as things go, we lost touch and i have wondered countless times over the years what became of her. this is not what i would have envisioned.
but it seems that before this random act of violence, she was happily married and owned a store in carytown that i had frequented, but never saw her at. she apparently was a good mom and wife, and well liked by all that knew her. she married a musician, something that doesn't surprise me as she had a fondness for them when i knew her! her girls looked a lot like her. she turned out to be a good mother and wife and friend. there isn't much more you can ask for in your life.
years ago i wrote a poem about kathy, one called "nineteen - and all that that implies" and it was just little descriptions about her, things that alone weren't stunning, but all things that contributed to making her so impressionable. the last stanza of the poem describes my standing on a sidewalk one of the last times i saw her, and watching her ride away on her bike into the spring sunshine, her hair flying over her shoulder. you couldn't help but be captivated by her, and part of the attraction was that she was so naive about herself and the affect she had on people. that innocence was something that you would wish for in yourself. and remarkably, at least then, she had no clue. no clue about anything related to her writing ability or her affect on those around her. no clue much about guys, and she was pretty gullible! i remember shaking my head a lot at some of the things she told me and wanting to protect her from these men who would break her heart. she was that kind of kid, the kind you envy, but want to protect.
when i saw her last, she was waitressing at the old texas-wisconsin border cafe and she looked almost waiflike and way too thin. she said she was living with some guy and had been for awhile. years. i remember thinking that life should have treated her better than that, and that she should have been doing something else and having more stability. apparently, her future husband, bryan, came often to the restaurant to see her, and that is where they met. he must have rescued her it seems!
just a few weeks ago i rode past her old apartment on floyd avenue on my way home from ellwood thompson's grocery, and i wondered about her. at the craft and design show in november, i once again thought about her. kathy had a wonderful pair of earrings, shaped like chinese fans. i have always remembered those earrings, and for the past 20 years, i have looked for a pair like them, but never once found anything even close. it has been a quest for the perfect earrings, but they, like kathy, were unique, and special in their time. apparently, neither can be imitated or replaced.
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