most of the time when you daydream, that dream stays in your head and never becomes a reality. we always think about doing stuff, like what you would do with a day off...and of course, you never do it. dreaming about it generally is more fun than really doing it.
but at 6:15 this morning my alarm went off and i was awake. and last night i was thinking about how awesome it would be to get up and take a walk in that frigid cold when the alarm went off. so i did....
i put on my wawa shirt, sweatpants and a sweat shirt and set off walking...i wasn't sure how far i would get, but i got to meg's house and then came back. i briefly thought about calling her and telling her i was standing in the street in front of the hacienda...but i decided nada...and home i went.
the moon was sliced in half and the sunrise reminded me of the one i saw alone at mesa verde national park 2 years ago. pam was still asleep then, and it was so vast and awesome and all mine. the world was asleep this morning and the same applied. ice and clouds and stars and a plane flying way above me. i wondered who was on it, where they were going, and what time that plane had taken off. sort of a world in motion kinda thought...
after picking up the paper from the driveway, i gave it all a glance and then went into the house and made a broccoli/sausage pattie stir fry after talking to m.j. in paris. austin was asleep on the couch, and the only thing missing from my fantasy was a cup of constant comfort tea. went to turn the spigot on in the kitchen and was shocked to find no water...frozen pipes. that was a little reality check, for sure! i went back outside to make sure i had closed all of the vents all around the house, and they were closed. i guess those pipes were to close to the outside wall. eventually they thawed, and all is well in the plumbing world....
it has been a busy, productive day. austin and i went to circuit city after i read the paper this morning. it said they were discounting everything starting today, but they didn't. we bought him the headset he wanted for the computer and came home. i took electrical tape to the wires to cat proof it, and then i went out to short pump and met my friend susan from school and we ate hot dogs at joey's and went to trader joe's and whole foods market. i have come home with some interesting stuff, such as short ribs and hummus. i have watched some tv this afternoon and now i think i might just read for awhile...
austin is off to amy's for the evening...life is good!
bring on more cold weather! bring on the snow!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
hello my friends...
my blog is sort of my corner of cyberspace where i just write what is in my head and don't worry about repercussions or anyone seeing it.
i worked a lot on the blog last spring, and there are some cool links. if you come here, you don't have to comment. the music is free (it's a long list, so scroll down until you find something you like and listen while you read.)
have had the blog for awhile, and i am not asking anyone to visit on any regular basis. it is just a way to find out what level of insanity i am on if you choose to visit. hey, i visit the inside of my head a lot, and i listen to the voices...ooooooH!
i haven't told many people that it is here, so i guess if you are reading this, consider yourself someone i feel pretty safe with...whether you consider that a good thing or a bad thing, well, it's up to you! i have made this a closed blog, so only the ones on my list can view it. i still want to keep it mine.
intellectual or deep brains conversations...well, there is a dearth of them in my life. so i come here and talk to myself...which is guess is preferable than doing the same in the frozen food aisle at walmart...:)
i worked a lot on the blog last spring, and there are some cool links. if you come here, you don't have to comment. the music is free (it's a long list, so scroll down until you find something you like and listen while you read.)
have had the blog for awhile, and i am not asking anyone to visit on any regular basis. it is just a way to find out what level of insanity i am on if you choose to visit. hey, i visit the inside of my head a lot, and i listen to the voices...ooooooH!
i haven't told many people that it is here, so i guess if you are reading this, consider yourself someone i feel pretty safe with...whether you consider that a good thing or a bad thing, well, it's up to you! i have made this a closed blog, so only the ones on my list can view it. i still want to keep it mine.
intellectual or deep brains conversations...well, there is a dearth of them in my life. so i come here and talk to myself...which is guess is preferable than doing the same in the frozen food aisle at walmart...:)
bring on the cold! :)
as i am writing this, the temp outside is a wonderful 12 degrees! go single digits! drop, drop, drop! bring me some snow, some hunkering down weather! alas, the snow is not to be! but at least it has gotten a bit cold and will be this way for a few days at least.
this week has been long and arduous, and my shoulders according to my son (who was commanded to massage them) are like concrete. my brain is back to functioning and i am looking at the bigger world and don't like a lot of what i am seeing. austin has also been problematic this week in the sense that there are issues, not overly major, but ones where i have to be involved and i am conflicted. this week alone:
monday: day 3 of the migraine that began on friday night, so i stay home. he gets his drivers license, and i have to come to school to get it. i have to call and get car insurance set up for him to the tune of $1200 a year. then on to the orthopedic guy about his cracked toe (he had been in an ortho boot for 2 weeks b/c of a bone chip. no basketball. he did it in a tourney over xmas). anyway, that visit is $40 and he is cleared to go back to basketball next week. so on that day i take on a new phase of my life, which is austin driving by himself and now out of my control in that area.
tuesday: at the end of the school day, austin and another teacher's kid are horsing around in his physics class waiting for the bell to ring. the other kid, tyler, shoves austin into the plate class window looking out into the hall. result: smashed window. no one is hurt, but austin is written up for disruptive behavior and i have to pay half of the replacement fee for the window, which will come to somewhere b/w $150-200. he comes down at the end of this class to tell me. i am so furious I TAKE HIM TO THE OFFICE MYSELF. now, everyone thinks this is sort of funny and there have been lots of jokes about it all week. he won't serve the ISS until the tuesday after exams. he was lucky he got that (i told the principal not to spare him anything and to treat him like every other kid. they did). what do you do for punishment? basically, he designed his own. no computers during the week. i have the cell phone during the day. he has to do anything i ask basically for the next couple of weeks, and his driving is restricted to a per case basis. also, he has blown off his english teacher when she sent for him during study hall and we have a mess going on in that area. i send him to his room to complete his homework and study for a test in ap psych.
wednesday: after going round and round talking about this stuff, my brain feels like a wheel of cheese. we get to school, and austin discovers he has left his backpack at home with all his stuff in it. how does one forget this? well, he took it in the house to actually use it. normally, it lives in the back of my car. i send him home at 8 am with the command that as soon as he gets back, he brings me my keys so i know he is at school. at 8:50 (school has started) he has not shown up. now i am worried. i walk out to the parking lot and he is just coming in. i can now breath safely, but...it is stressful.
tuesday: at the end of the school day, austin and another teacher's kid are horsing around in his physics class waiting for the bell to ring. the other kid, tyler, shoves austin into the plate class window looking out into the hall. result: smashed window. no one is hurt, but austin is written up for disruptive behavior and i have to pay half of the replacement fee for the window, which will come to somewhere b/w $150-200. he comes down at the end of this class to tell me. i am so furious I TAKE HIM TO THE OFFICE MYSELF. now, everyone thinks this is sort of funny and there have been lots of jokes about it all week. he won't serve the ISS until the tuesday after exams. he was lucky he got that (i told the principal not to spare him anything and to treat him like every other kid. they did). what do you do for punishment? basically, he designed his own. no computers during the week. i have the cell phone during the day. he has to do anything i ask basically for the next couple of weeks, and his driving is restricted to a per case basis. also, he has blown off his english teacher when she sent for him during study hall and we have a mess going on in that area. i send him to his room to complete his homework and study for a test in ap psych.
wednesday: after going round and round talking about this stuff, my brain feels like a wheel of cheese. we get to school, and austin discovers he has left his backpack at home with all his stuff in it. how does one forget this? well, he took it in the house to actually use it. normally, it lives in the back of my car. i send him home at 8 am with the command that as soon as he gets back, he brings me my keys so i know he is at school. at 8:50 (school has started) he has not shown up. now i am worried. i walk out to the parking lot and he is just coming in. i can now breath safely, but...it is stressful.
thursday: kids in my classes are complete buttheads, not doing homework, which is exam review. asking me dumb, asinine questions that i have already answered 4 times. i explode on them and tell them i am tired of being their 2nd mother. they need to grow up and stop whining and get with the program. i walk in the bitter cold for 20 minutes with austin's english teacher while we discuss his rampant immaturity and poor choices. i cannot defend him. i cannot do his work for him. i can only be frustrated.
and what really sets me off, sadly, is that they were supposed to serve footlong hot dogs for lunch and that was to be the highlight of my day. alas, no hotdogs, and a lot of disappointed campers! the head cafeteria lady is a saint, but she apparently forgot to order the BUNS...i was grumpy for the rest of the day.
austin goes to his dad's for the night, and i am left feeling totally useless as a parent because i feel like i am just not doing something right. the ADHD is really a factor right now with austin, but that just can't be an excuse.
i need a vacation where there is no one under the age of 20. maybe a human jurassic park, where i can commune with my own dinosaur like friends. i need a good hotdog, some snow, and no one asking me dumbass things, no one whining, or manipulating me....
next week: exams. monday, a day off. technically, i should have a low key week. we'll see...!
Monday, January 12, 2009
austin gets his license
austin is out there somewhere driving my car by himself. he finally got his license.
i am here typing away, hoping that things go well, and trying to not worry. i am not really worried i don't think. i guess i am just thinking about this being another new phase in life. he is now independent in a whole new way.
we also went to the ortho foot doctor today (dr. bowman) who more or less said that the ortho boot diagnosis was much ado about nothing. he put austin back into his shoe, said to stay off of it for another week, and then proceed as necessary. i am going to make austin an appt. with gary lavelle for 2 weeks from now and i guess we will go back to basketball. i am still a little nervous about the basketball, but then again, i guess it doesn't matter now. he can get hurt doing just about anything. i didn't used to worry about it then, but now it really seems to be important. any injury can be the difference b/w paying for college or not.
i was down with another migraine for pretty much the whole weekend. i fought it most of saturday, but by saturday night, i was done. spent the day in the bed yesterday and it didn't break until about 2 a.m. this morning. i was pretty wiped out and stayed home today.
i am here typing away, hoping that things go well, and trying to not worry. i am not really worried i don't think. i guess i am just thinking about this being another new phase in life. he is now independent in a whole new way.
we also went to the ortho foot doctor today (dr. bowman) who more or less said that the ortho boot diagnosis was much ado about nothing. he put austin back into his shoe, said to stay off of it for another week, and then proceed as necessary. i am going to make austin an appt. with gary lavelle for 2 weeks from now and i guess we will go back to basketball. i am still a little nervous about the basketball, but then again, i guess it doesn't matter now. he can get hurt doing just about anything. i didn't used to worry about it then, but now it really seems to be important. any injury can be the difference b/w paying for college or not.
i was down with another migraine for pretty much the whole weekend. i fought it most of saturday, but by saturday night, i was done. spent the day in the bed yesterday and it didn't break until about 2 a.m. this morning. i was pretty wiped out and stayed home today.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
heading back to the ranch...
retirement. boy, that's a dream.
i am now starting to really relish the idea of not working, although i can't imagine that will ever happen, or at least not any time soon. i have enjoyed reading, staying in, sitting on the porch, cooking, watching old 30's-40's movies, monk, psych, the law and orders, et al. i like having been able to get some chores done around the house, or at least make a dent in them. i didn't do everything i wanted to do (hand scrub the upstairs bathroom floor and walls and make that room spiffy; making ravioli; making borscht;shampooing my carpets). but i did read a lot of books, order books, sell books, view books and read my newspapers. i got caught up on my sleep, and i am less stressed and more relaxed than i have been in a long time. hail chemicals!
austin has a bone chip in his big right toe joint and after 2 doctors appointments, he is in an ortho boot for 4-6 weeks, or so they say. i think this is a bit extreme, and i am going to see if i can get another opinion on it. on one hand, it is good to protect his foot, as that is his push off foot for baseball, but on the other hand it seems sort of out there for something so small. in any case, i am going to check again. everyone is now in on it and the yapping begins. i am really tired of doing politics with family and coaches.
austin has been both exasperating and good at the same time. on one hand, exasperating (he left his wallet with his health insurance card on the night that bebo took him to the appointment; he left his retainers at amy's last night; he forgot to call and tell me NOT to make dinner for him and amy because he was eating at her house; he didn't go in and try to do something/anything at the RBI practice today;) on the other hand, he has done more chores, argued less, and been more willing to help me out in the house and talk. i am just hoping at some point he is going to grow a brain. he is just like the jeremy character in the ZITS comic strip. he has the memory of a flea, the attention span of a gnat, and cannot be depended on to do much of anything on a regular basis.
i don't know what i am going to do with my classes tomorrow, but i am sure it will all work out. now my big focus is getting some snow! it may be possible in a week or so. already i am getting emails about bringing omar in and turning him on!
i am now starting to really relish the idea of not working, although i can't imagine that will ever happen, or at least not any time soon. i have enjoyed reading, staying in, sitting on the porch, cooking, watching old 30's-40's movies, monk, psych, the law and orders, et al. i like having been able to get some chores done around the house, or at least make a dent in them. i didn't do everything i wanted to do (hand scrub the upstairs bathroom floor and walls and make that room spiffy; making ravioli; making borscht;shampooing my carpets). but i did read a lot of books, order books, sell books, view books and read my newspapers. i got caught up on my sleep, and i am less stressed and more relaxed than i have been in a long time. hail chemicals!
austin has a bone chip in his big right toe joint and after 2 doctors appointments, he is in an ortho boot for 4-6 weeks, or so they say. i think this is a bit extreme, and i am going to see if i can get another opinion on it. on one hand, it is good to protect his foot, as that is his push off foot for baseball, but on the other hand it seems sort of out there for something so small. in any case, i am going to check again. everyone is now in on it and the yapping begins. i am really tired of doing politics with family and coaches.
austin has been both exasperating and good at the same time. on one hand, exasperating (he left his wallet with his health insurance card on the night that bebo took him to the appointment; he left his retainers at amy's last night; he forgot to call and tell me NOT to make dinner for him and amy because he was eating at her house; he didn't go in and try to do something/anything at the RBI practice today;) on the other hand, he has done more chores, argued less, and been more willing to help me out in the house and talk. i am just hoping at some point he is going to grow a brain. he is just like the jeremy character in the ZITS comic strip. he has the memory of a flea, the attention span of a gnat, and cannot be depended on to do much of anything on a regular basis.
i don't know what i am going to do with my classes tomorrow, but i am sure it will all work out. now my big focus is getting some snow! it may be possible in a week or so. already i am getting emails about bringing omar in and turning him on!
Friday, January 2, 2009
things i did on the first day of the new year
definitely feeling better.
i got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. this was after i had moved all the plants and furniture out of there and had swept the floor about 10 times. i made black-eyed peas and stewed tomatoes; made stewed apples for aunt grace's pound cake; made the "guts" for the mini-mex egg rolls; made pork chops and mashed potatoes and gravy.
i finished reading yet another book (i think this is like the 4th or 5th one this week alone). i put together the carpet cleaner i ordered. i went to food lion and shopped for some food. i watched the orange bowl (VT won). i finished pam's calendar.
in other words, i had some energy and was productive. go cymbalta! go vitamin D!
i got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. this was after i had moved all the plants and furniture out of there and had swept the floor about 10 times. i made black-eyed peas and stewed tomatoes; made stewed apples for aunt grace's pound cake; made the "guts" for the mini-mex egg rolls; made pork chops and mashed potatoes and gravy.
i finished reading yet another book (i think this is like the 4th or 5th one this week alone). i put together the carpet cleaner i ordered. i went to food lion and shopped for some food. i watched the orange bowl (VT won). i finished pam's calendar.
in other words, i had some energy and was productive. go cymbalta! go vitamin D!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
happy new years!
i have just finished putting together pam's calendar and sending it off. it gave me an opportunity to review the year in pictures and that made me smile. there were a lot of places visited, a lot of things that happened. i hope she likes the calendar!
new years eve passed with a ton of fireworks across the street for about 15 minutes. i finished up reading a new book i got yesterday, a new mystery. today i plan to make black eyed peas and stewed tomatoes and put together my new carpet cleaner! tonight is the orange bowl on tv with tech vs. cincinnati. we have lost the last 4 years in bowl games, but maybe tonight will be the night! i think i may also try and make the egg rolls i had been thinking about making. sometime this weekend i would also like to try and make the ravioli. so far, i haven't gotten to it.
new years eve passed with a ton of fireworks across the street for about 15 minutes. i finished up reading a new book i got yesterday, a new mystery. today i plan to make black eyed peas and stewed tomatoes and put together my new carpet cleaner! tonight is the orange bowl on tv with tech vs. cincinnati. we have lost the last 4 years in bowl games, but maybe tonight will be the night! i think i may also try and make the egg rolls i had been thinking about making. sometime this weekend i would also like to try and make the ravioli. so far, i haven't gotten to it.
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