the sun has just finished up for the day, and so have i.i am covered in a layer of topsoil and sweat, having finally gotten the new above ground vegetable bed done tonight. bruce next door helped me by drilling the holes in the wooden box and pounding the rebar in a bit. i went after the rest of it with the huge hammer he lent me, not willing to wait for austin to do it tomorrow. nor was i willing to wait to haul the 10 bags of topsoil (at 40 lbs. a piece) to the bed and empty and spread them. i also changed the spool on the weedwacker and went after the weeds in the yard. so the sun came down, the ice cream truck came by and i rewarded myself with a rare nutty buddy which i ate while talking over the fence to my next door neighbor. i didn't get the plants into the planters, but i can do that tomorrow. the only thing i didn't do was build the trellis that i am going to put up for the cukes. i can't punish myself too much over that one, as i didn't get the idea until yesterday when i saw it in a magazine at home desperado.
austin had baseball this weekend, and i got some sunburn and some conversation and socialization in with parents i hadn't seen in awhile. i also went to meg's for a cookout tonight and socialized for an couple of hours, and then came home to the chores. i have about 2 hours of chitchat in me, and then i have to bolt. brenda davis came over this afternoon, and i got my kitchen cleaned really well. brenda, who is a neatnik, would take the broom and sweep your house up and clean for you, so when she comes, i am generally motivated to do stuff around the hacienda. she needs to visit more often, as i would scrub more...
have read some in a new book, THE LAST TEMPLAR, and finished THE TEMPLAR LEGACY. have actually gotten some of the NYTIMES sunday read on sunday which usually doesn't happen. i have my bedroom to clean up and laundry to fold before i can relax, although relaxing isn't something i seem to be able to do with much aplomb.
school will be out in a couple of weeks, and i am still looking for work. bebo cornered me at the ballgame to discuss "things" and we basically agreed to disagree over the child support and what it supports. he thinks he is being generous by giving me what the state is telling me that austin is supposed to get. in his mind, he only is obligated to pay $420/month and the extra $200 is going to austin's college fund and other expenses. in actuality, he is obligated to pay the amount he is paying now, and it only covers his medical expenses. all other things beyond that (baseball expenses, college fund, extras like cleats, etc.) i am now going to be on my own to deal with. i am not happy that at almost 50 years-old i am having to look for a second job. not when my friends are retiring, staying home, or have kids out of college and can do stuff. but the bottom line is, a higher power doesn't give you more than you can handle, and I WILL HANDLE. i always have, i always will. austin will be taken care of, and so will i.
so life has leveled out, although on the surface it seems bumpy. the leveling comes from knowing what is in front of me. i comes from knowing what i have to do, and what i won't be getting. as long as i have the parameters, i can deal with it.
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