manic production

it used to be that i could be a little manic at times, and i still am...in the head...but physically...kinda hard to do.

however, i have been productive this weekend, even though i feel like i have been beaten with a blunt instrument. being productive is important to me and makes me feel like i have a reason to suck air...so, just for me, some of my accomplishments for the weekend so far...

today...it is 10:15 as i write this, and already i have been up, been to the fas-mart and vacuumed out my car. then on to wal-mart, where i shopped for the week. home, unloaded groceries, tamped down the ground and placed the 4 paver stones under the smokey cooker. i chopped down the growing tree under the deck, cleaned out the smokey cooker and started the fire in there, put the dry rub on the brisket, and now i am blogging...things to do today: finish the laundry and fold it, week out the two vegetable beds and plant the tomatoes, cukes and squash that i got from pam's yesterday. need to read the paper and i want to scan some pictures as potential things to use in headers i might make.

yesterday: a bath (i don't get much time to do that), sprayed roundup around the yard (again), drilled holes in the ceramic pots and coffee cups that i wanted to put plants in; planted some flowers in the front bed; shipped the shoes back to zappos; went through amy's chili pepper stuff in her bins; read the paper; went up to pam's and planted plants in the pots i had drilled; got more plants; then pam and i went out in the kubota about a half mile or so to a field louis had plowed that was filled with rocks!

rock nirvana! heaven! for me, this is a sign of how bad my life must really be when the highlight of the day is finding a field full of rocks and then walking in the dirt in my birkies to get them and throw them in the back of the kubota! what a sight pam and i must have been to a god somewhere...trying not to hit bodie the dog with the kubota and sinking up to the rims almost from the weight of the rocks we collected. i transferred about half of them to the trunk of the car and later unloaded them when i got home. the other half we dumped in a pile by the greenhouse to get when i go back up there on thursday for carter's graduation. if i could, i would go and get more, as once louis seeds the field, we are done for rock collecting there. taylor's sister becky came up after we had dumped the rocks and said she had been on the farm clearing horse trails and had a lot of rocks out there i could get later if i wanted them. basically, even if you DON'T want them, you gather them. buying rocks is horrendously expensive, and i find all sorts of things to do with them. i hope to remortar and remodel the waterfall this summer, and i will use them for that.

i headed home looking like a low rider with all the weight in the car, and i was packed to the gills with tomato plants and other vegetable stuff, more than i can use. i stopped by mary beth and david's house on the way home and visited briefly with them. that was nice! their yard is wonderful to look at and MB and i chatted and got caught up on life. i like talking to MB about spiritual stuff and she made some suggestions of books to read and a lecture by a guy named pausch who gave his last college lecture (he has pancreatic cancer) and it is on youtube.

i came home, unloaded the rocks, and watched a bit of tv before playing some yellow car out on the computer and then crashing. i drank a lot of tea yesterday, and i stopped at wawa and got a cup of coffee and more diet green tea on the way home. i had the windows open in the car and was listening to the new AWAKE cd by josh groban and i was very content.

being content is what it is all about, and i like the fact that i have been so, despite being in a lot of pain. i often lose perspective about he pain thing, and over long periods of time it makes me more of a bitch and a lot more over reactionary. i am working to get back to the place where i can be productive, calm, and not depressed despite it. not easy work, but doable...