kee's last day

putting down an animal, especially one you have had a long time, is never easy. it hits a place that you sometimes don't even know you have, and it rakes it raw. but watching your child deal with this type of death for the first time makes the passage doubly heart wrenching.

it didn't occur to me that i would be a part in any way of putting kee down, but i ended up being there when he went to sleep. bebo made the mistake of leaving austin with kee and going to work. austin called me at school, sobbing, saying he just couldn't leave him. austin doesn't cry. i took it seriously, and left school and went to bebo's to wait with austin.

kee was thin, and hadn't eaten in many days. he drank water, and appreciated the grand amount of stroking he got on his ears. but he was dull and listless, and it was apparent that the quality of his life was gone. it was the right decision to make, but it wasn't what i had thought it would be.

instead of bebo taking him to do it, we all went, crying. austin wanted to be there, and we were, and it seemed to take an extraordinary amount of time, but he just went to sleep quietly.

austin cried off and on all day. he tried to go to school, but he lost it in his physics class and just came home. he said he cried at amy's for about 45 minutes, he cried at basketball when he told andrew, and ryan farrar came and got him and took him to the basketball game. afterwards, he went out with some of the kids on the team to nacho mama's, where he danced and sang karioke with some of the boys. he said it got his mind off of it.

i stayed home, read in between naps that i was taking because of the massive tear induced headaches that i had all day.

kee had a long run, and a good life. he is remembered for being just sweet, and dumb, and having been a good mouser and a better rabbit catcher. he once caught a rabbit that was bigger than he was, and he brought it to us, still alive in his mouth. i made him drop it, thinking the rabbit was dead. it was not, and it took off, after it got over being stunned, and hopped away. it was a pretty amazing thing to see.

austin's reaction to the whole thing caught me offguard. i think it was because there had been no precedent set in this area. he had no particular reaction when thing died, nor did he cry when doris died. who would have guessed his attachment to kee. but i think he thinks of kee as HIS cat, not one of MINE. kee lived in austin's room here for about 8 months, and slept on the bed and had his only human contacts mostly with austin. and then he went to bebo's to finish out his life, and austin had him there as well. he was the solo cat, and sort of lived the life of riley once he got to bebo's. he certainly ate well! in any case, this was a big passage for austin, and another one for me as well. kee was really the last link to the old life, and to austin's childhood when bebo and i were still together and we all lived at melissa paige circle.