it is saturday morning, and i have just returned from actually doing something on a saturday morning that doesn't involve going to a baseball game. the fall baseball season is now over, so i am left at loose ends, actually able to enjoy not having an agenda.
i have delivered austin to his father for the day. bebo is moving out of the house and into jackie's house, and he needed the "manpower" to lift and tote. i explained to austin that this would not be an easy day for his dad. it was, i told him, a "transition" day, one that people of all ages have periodically. moving out of the house after having resided there for 15 years is definitely a transition. i told him that his father is leaving something he knew for something he isn't sure about. marriage apparently will occur in the spring, so then things will be legal. but for now, he is buying half of jackie's house and moving in with her.
there were people there that i didn't know, and i had gotten bebo a cup of coffee and doughnuts (austin's idea). jackie didn't seem too thrilled to see me, and was very curt and pretty much blew me off. sigh. more drama not needed. maybe she didn't realize i was there at bebo's request. i retrieved a this end up coffee table that he no longer wanted, and i also rescued some rocks out of the flower bed that i had collected from the creek at uncle jack and steve's home in west virginia. i thought briefly about walking around the backyard for one last time, and had intended to do that, but when i got there and stood on the deck, i realized that i, happily, was done with that place, and had been since i moved out of there 2 1/2 years ago. that made me feel pretty good. i am hoping after today that austin's attachment and angst over the selling of the place will subside and he will move on. with his father at jackie's, it at least puts all of the people under one roof. austin will be able to walk, if he wants, to see his aunts or grandmother. bebo will not have to choose between time with austin and time with jackie. he can just do stuff with austin or not. it should be very strange for austin, but he has to get used to it. it isn't going to change in the foreseeable future.
as for me, i went to petsmart and looked at fish, and again had a revived interest in putting an aquarium back together. standing there looking at the fish after jackie's non-greeting made me a little calmer and more hopeful. a few minutes of fish meditation was good. i sort of decompressed and wasn't as angry, hurt and pissed off as i had been when i drove away. i went to a & n and bought myself 2 pairs of on sale tennis shoes, one black, one white. i haven't bought tennis shoes in years, and really needed them. i also bought xmas present t-shirts for austin and a pair of sweat pants for myself. after that, i walked to panera bread and felt intellectual sitting in a bright window seat listening to classical music, drinking a cup of coffee, and eating a pink ribbon bagel (they are in honor of national breast cancer month, and they were good). however, nothing ever goes the way you want it to, and the bagel jammed and i had to come home because my stomach went wacko...so here i am, writing. i need to get all of my plant stuff in some sort of decent order/location for the winter and i could go out and do some more xmas shopping for austin i guess. right now, i am enjoying the cooler weather, the prospect of another cup of coffee later in the day on my porch, a nice sunset, and my new tennis shoes feeling good on my feet. simple pleasures, simply fall.
p.s. when i did the spell check on this, when it got to the name "jackie" it asked if i wanted to replace it with "jackass"...god does have a good sense of humor...:)
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