one of the words i have learned while playing freerice.com is the word "eremite" which translates into hermit. right now i am feeling that eremite would perfectly describe what i would like to be after my moment at walmart this morning.
saturday. mechanicsville. the middle of the month=crowds. you know it, you expect it, and you plan for it. my plan was to check myself out in lawn and garden where the lines were reasonable. i am not sure reasonable is how i would describe the two ingrates in line in front of me.
scenario: young black woman checking out people. two sloppy fat white rednecks checking out in front of me. he in his carhart hat and flannel shirt. the checkout girl wasn't moving overly fast and didn't exactly look enthused to be where she was, but that is a given i suppose under the circumstances. i don't know how enthused i would have been either. in any case, they questioned the price on some foam wire covers and of course, we are no where near where they picked them up from. checkout girl walked down to a supervisor and got someone to go and do a price check. as she walks away, the couple begin to discuss her "attitude" which he says "is mean as a rattlesnake." i wasn't getting this, but none the less, checkout girl was continuing checking out and some dialogue began concerning her saying "thank you" and "you're welcome." before this exchange, the frustrated couple decide not purchase the things that the other person is getting the price check on.
the white couple seemed to be intent on getting something from this girl, but she wasn't giving it up. i suspect they wanted to see her cow-tow down a bit, and she didn't do it. when she refused to say "you're welcome" they started haranguing her and asked her name. she wouldn't give it. then they insisted she call for a manager. they were intent on embarrassing her and refused to move until a manager showed up and i guess they could complain in front of everyone and "put her in her place."
this really pissed me off and made me embarrassed to be white. i tried smiling at checkout girl and fumbled to find something to say that might make it right. the fatsos were behind me, so when i caught her eye, i rolled mine and leaned over and whispered "not all of us think that way."
lame i guess, but it was the best i could do. then in a loud voice in front of all of the other people in the line behind me i said "so, do you think we're gonna get some snow?"
she smiled and said, "i hope so! then i won't have to work!"
i said, "hey! i thought walmart stayed open 24 hours a day! they don't close for snow do they?"
she finished processing me and i looked at her and smiled and said "have a good one" and i smiled at her as best i could and strode away with my basket.
on my way out, i stopped two different people, both of them black, who were at the end of a long struggling line at checkout in the store. i told each of them to skip where they were and go to lawn and garden: shorter line. i did the same outside in the parking lot as i passed a black man headed in. it was the best i could think of to do to repair the damage.
i got home and watched the birds at the bird feeders on my back porch. there were just a few of them, a finch or too, a chickadee, no beautiful birds, just the nondescript ones. but along side them where the nasty squirrels, eating the food out from under the birds. the squirrels, bigger, larger, got access to the best sunflower seeds. the little birds get what is leftover. no matter how much i yell at the squirrels or bang on the glass door, they pretty much arrogantly ignore me, shuffle off slowly, only to leisurely come back to gorge themselves because i guess they think it is their right and privilege.
people in this community can sometimes be too much like those squirrels and birds. some of them are big and ugly, equally nondescript and useless, yet they somehow seem to rule in a superior manner. what use is a squirrel? what pleasure do they bring to the world? and then, there are some that might say that the less than beautiful birds, the little titmouses and dull sparrows and chickadees, why feed them? let's just feed the cardinals and the orioles and the red winged blackbirds...you know, the showy, fun birds.
the squirrels eat their fill, they flit away. the little birds bid their time, they return. they eat what they can, they don't fight much, but sometimes they hold their ground. they stay. they endure the crowding of the ugly squirrels. and i watch them, cheer for them.
i should have chased off the squirrels this morning, but i realized that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. as my grandmother used to say, you can dress up a monkey, but you can't hide it's tail. those people were going to be racist, ignorant, ugly squirrels, and nothing i could say or do would change that. in a practical sense, speaking up would have only made the situation more volatile.
it didn't make me feel good, and i wish i had done more.
later on, i did. i called the walmart, asked for the manager. i got the one who ended up with the confrontation. i told her that for what it was worth, the kid didn't do anything wrong. i told her that the people accusing her had been provoking. i also told the manager to tell the kid that the white lady next in line had called to defend her.
the manager sounded tired and hurried. i could tell she didn't care, and the message was never going to make it back to that girl in lawn and garden. i also imagine checkout girl will likely be more resigned, more angry tonight. for her, i suspect this isn't the first time she has had some sort of encounter like this. maybe she is used to it. maybe not. in my case, i don't think i will ever get used to it...and maybe that is a good thing.
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