restless in mechanicsville

i can't figure out why it is that i can't seem to sit still...probably too much caffeine, but i am most definitely restless in mechanicsville.

it is a weird thing when the one thing you want to do, which is relax, seems to be the one thing you won't let yourself do. why is that? i sit and daydream about it a lot of the the time, but given the opportunity, i usually blow it. i sit in front of the tv and watch c.s.i. or a law & order and then flog myself for having succumbed to doing nothing useful.

yesterday i did do some useful shopping. i bought xmas gifts for daddy and austin and bought myself clothes. i was feeling a bit flush and spent the money, although i am sure sometime soon i will be sorry for having done it. hopefully, not. today i would like to go through my room and austin's and gather up things for goodwill. i am in the cleaning mode and right now i have a bit of energy, having been pretty much decked for awhile with the fibro. however, yesterday i felt a bit better and austin is at his father's house, so i was by myself and i like that.

it is raining harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock today. the yard is puddled and there is a huge stream of water sluicing down the driveway. i am surprised at how squishy the yard is. i went to church today and was a greeter and did the collection as well. i hadn't been in awhile, so it was good to go, although my stomach thought differently. probably that 20 ounce of coffee i slugged down. i took my hair out of the corn rows yesterday and today i am playing with it a bit with combs. yesterday i used headbands. tomorrow, who knows. i may keep it down for awhile.

i haven't done pottery in months and i just started back reading fiction. i am still reading the newspapers and i seem to be able to focus a bit on those kind of things. i am having some irritating physical problems, including periodic choking incidents and difficulty breathing. sometimes i feel like i have a 5lb sack of sugar on my chest and i have to concentrate on breathing. the muscular problem has always been irritating. i am dropping things, having trouble grabbing things and tripping and stumbling. i am also having problems coming up with names for things, like the hair combs. i sat here for a minute concentrating trying to remember what they were called, although i could clearly envision them. sigh.

we needed a printer, so i finally found one and bought it yesterday. this was the culmination of months of research on the internet and combing the sunday store ads. what a confusing mess! i don't think anyone can figure it out. there are so many different variations on a theme that they can keep you perpetually confused about what to buy. generally, i think it comes down to people buying what is in the store and what is on sale. i could only find one of the five on my list in a store, and fortunately for me it was on sale. it has yet to be installed. i will save that one for austin.