mark twain

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

the last of the inspirational poems, part III

Mother to Son
by Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now—
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

another inspirational poem, part II

COURAGE -
Anne Sexton

It is in the small things we see it.
The child’s first step,
as awesome as an earthquake.
The first time you rode a bike,
wallowing up the sidewalk.
The first spanking when your heart
went on a journey all alone.
When they called you crybaby
or poor or fatty or crazy
and made you into an alien,
you drank their acidand concealed it.

Later,
if you faced the death of bombs and bullets
you did not do it with a banner,
you did it with only a hat to
cover your heart.
You did not fondle the weakness inside you
though it was there.
Your courage was a small coal
that you kept swallowing.
If your buddy saved you
and died himself in so doing,
then his courage was not courage,
it was love; love as simple as shaving soap.

Later,
if you have endured a great despair,
then you did it alone,
getting a transfusion from the fire,
picking the scabs off your heart,
then wringing it out like a sock.
Next, my kinsman, you powdered your sorrow,
you gave it a back rub
and then you covered it with a blanket
and after it had slept a while
it woke to the wings of the roses
and was transformed.

Later,
when you face old age and its natural conclusion
your courage will still be shown in the little ways,
each spring will be a sword you’ll sharpen,
those you love will live in a fever of love,
and you’ll bargain with the calendar
and at the last moment
when death opens the back door
you’ll put on your carpet slippers
and stride out.

my favorite inspirational poems, part I

I Am Offering This Poem - Jimmy Santiago Baca

I am offering this poem to you,
since I have nothing else to give.
Keep it like a warm coat,
when winter comes to cover you,
or like a pair of thick socks
the cold cannot bite through

I love you

I have nothing else to give you,
so it is a pot full of yellow corn
to warm your belly in the winter,
it is a scarf for your head, to wear
over your hair, to tie up around your face

I love you

Keep it, treasure it as you would
if you were lost, needing direction,
in the wilderness life becomes when mature;
and in the corner of your drawer,
tucked away like a cabin or a hogan
in dense trees, come knocking,
and I will answer, give you directions,
and let you warm yourself by this fire,
rest by this fire, and make you feel safe

I love you

It's all I have to give,
and it's all anyone needs to live,
and to go on living inside,
when the world outside
no longer cares if you live or die;
remember,

I love you.

the type of person a higher power uses

this morning the message at church was about the type of person god uses, and sammy used the example of mary, who was asked to be the mother of jesus. he didn't pick a person who was ego driven or rich. he picked an ordinary teenager and asked her to get over her fear of criticism by the community and her family. she would also have to conquer a natural fear of the supernatural, which translates into not asking yourself the question "what will happen to me?" a person asked to do something extraordinary will also have a fear of inadequency, feeling like "how can i handle this?" and perhaps the greatest fear is the fear of change, because taking on something huge and different begs the question of "how will this change my life?"

certainly i am not mary and not mothering a saint or god-to-be. i haven't been asked by god to do anything different other than, apparently, to be myself. that in and of itself is a huge separating factor. but i guess the question has to be asked is if i have the desire to do god's will.
sammy rightly stated that those of us anointed to do "dirty work" have to have a lot of humility and some enthusiasm for the task. i can't say i fit that description. but i am also convinced i am being asked to do something special, probably in the area of healing and teaching. however, i feel so off the path of life most of the time that my confidence seems to be as tangible as a wisp of smoke.

the sermon went on to say that god uses people who are willing to pay the cost. well, what if you aren't exactly willing? it involves a lot of hope and trust, and i doubt myself so much. however, when all of these yucky things involving people keep happening to me, i end up not so much bitter and mad as i am sad and wanting to withdraw and get a better, wider perspective. Unfortunately, i am way too human, and i can't just let it flow like water. wish i could, but after awhile, i get scraped so raw that if anyone sucks my air in a room, it will make me mad. i am also not willing to act out the things that i could do to help myself, which is more quiet time and less time doing meaningless things like sitting in front of the tv. i am way too restless, and i think that is just a technique that we learn to keep these problems at bay. as long as i keep occupying myself with drivel, i can keep going. but i am not totally stupid. i know i have to slow down and let it come in and deal with it. i usually do this at night when i am going to sleep, or trying to. in the end, though, if i am to be one who is willing to pay the cost, the question is what am i willing to give up? right now, it would be being part of people and being liked and validated.

what do i desire most? right now it would be to be comfortable in my own skin, to be able to view skeptics and negative people with a sense of detachment. detached=not affected. i would like not to take things so incredibly personally. everything just tears me up? i'd like to say i desire not to be affected by anyone, but i know that would be wrong. no challenges, no growth.

the last part of this sermon involved the fact that god uses people who dare to trust his promise. i am not sure i have been promised anything. i think i innately know i have a purpose and i am somewhat blindly plunging on, but i guess i need to trade in my humanism for an more other-worldly view. sometimes i can do that. but most of the time i am a bad mortal and, boy, a really weak one at that. i am not sure i have any of the qualifications that a higher power would ask for in someone doing his biding for a greater cause.

i guess if i could remove my egotistical need to be validated out of the equation, i might be a lot happier and a lot better to do good works. i would like to do that. i NEED to do that. so why can't i?